However, since traveling with him is actually never just traveling I have been digesting the trip for about a month now.
Have you ever been the assistant of a super coach? I’ve tried it now a couple of times and it’s quite the challenge because he is always 5 steps ahead of you in basically everything. On top of that, he will find your blind spots and weak sports, things you are not aware of, and confront you with them. Oh, the fun!
Often I feel like I am sprinting a marathon with him. In Moscow we do this marathon 5 days in a row normally, meeting one high-class client after the other. I love to feel that I am constantly growing and developing as an “international” assistant, but sometimes it feels so unreal that I have a hard time grasping that it’s actually “little old me” living all these great things…
This is why I had a hard time writing this blog earlier, because when I returned I simply could not grasp that it was the same “me” living all this, as the “I” who comes home to my family.
A private driver picked us up from the airport in Moscow with a shiny black Mercedes. I was treated like a VIP because I was traveling with Mr. Hertlein (a perk of the job) and it felt great. “Little old me” could definitely get used to this.
The next days we started running the marathons. At times I was exhausted simply from the amount of new information I was taking in. It definitely felt like I was learning a new language. I may not have been the one running the show and making speeches, but I was certainly learning a lot.
After a successful speech for businessmen we continued with other issues, hopping from one meeting and “world” to the next without ever really having the time to digest anything. I found it amazing. And I found it even more amazing that my boss could follow all of that. Going from a meeting at a prestigious dental investigation centre for neurology and teeth (speaking about medical issues fluently) to meetings with businessmen, and then to meetings with various other professionals who had their own special languages.
We were having a cup of coffee with one of the most respected business coaches in Moscow, and Thomas was explaining to this man exactly what he does, as it seemed that his approach of coaching any profession or type of human being was fairly unique to Moscow.
He said his job was to understand the individual human languages of his clients and where these languages have “mixed words”. This is because often we think we are sending a clear signal out about what we want, our goals in life or who we are, but it turns out we are everything except clear and congruent.
“If I puhun viele languages inside una frase – will you understand me?
Does that make sense? It does, if the person you are asking the question to speaks the languages you use – but if he doesn’t you will have a harder time getting your message across in a successful way”.
Then he explained that the same applies in anything we do in life. We are so used to not questioning our own languages that we are completely un-aware of why things happen as they do, such as when we don’t get what we want or get things we thought we didn’t ask for.
This, for him, is Human Decoding – where he understands the foreign words inside different sentences. These sentences are not only spoken however, so his job is to understand why the body would suddenly produce cells that speak a different language than the rest of the cells – like cancer? Why relationships fail even when we think we are doing everything right? Why businesses don’t work or why we don’t reach our goals…?
I sat listening to them and wondered how often I tell myself that I am doing everything right and yet miraculously get the “wrong” results… and how often I keep telling people: “But you are not listening…it’s not what I wanted to say” – having the same discussions again and again because the way I communicate and work has some mixed signals.
This one is my all-time favorite:
Have you ever had that experience where you know you the way you express or do something will end up bad – but yet – “stubborn you” – you still try and see if THIS TIME it will be different. Like suddenly, the other one would understand your secret language and say:
“AHA, when you behave like a pain in the bum… you actually mean you care and I should just be flattered that you treat me like dirt? – LOVELY, THANK YOU!”
Even though you KNOW you could just get directly to the point and show your appreciation? I don’t know how many times I have had the same discussions…trying to explain what I REALLY MEAN.
Here’s just a small tip for anyone who wants to be an assisstant for a super coach:
It’s extremely embarrassing to keep on discussing about the same thing, especially when you have made it clear that the way you use your language simply does not get you to the point!
Do Not – I repeat – Do Not try that at work!
(Been there – done that – not good!)
The Russian business coach asked Thomas if his goal was to bring awareness to his clients and not directly change them?
Thomas explained that his job is to understand and help his clients understand why they do what they do, and give them the option of choice. This is because if you are not aware of why you do what you do, then it’s hard to WANT to change it, and normally when you understand why things happen as they do, it’s actually pretty great and liberating to realize that there actually is a sense and a reason behind everything.
I sat there and thought that although I make a lot of mistakes, I must be doing something very right in life since I am accompanying one of the most talented coaches in the world and meeting other talented and interesting people. So, even though I don’t always see or express my appreciation in a direct way for the greatness I am living, I must be speaking the right language on some levels and perhaps subconsciously asking for things to happen very successfully.
I’ve had a hard time taking any credit for the greatness I sometimes get to live – mostly because I didn’t want to take responsibility for my life in general. For example, I would have nothing to do with it, saying “But I didn’t ask for that to happen”. For now – it has been a way to avoid turning “little old me” into someone much greater – with much greater responsibilities… So, not being aware of how I make things happen is a way for me to avoid the stress of being responsible for my own life.
Here, I am becoming aware of my own choices. 🙂
Moscow was amazing yet again. I jumped over so many of my own shadows and fears. After the trip I felt like I could not grow anymore and that I had reached my limit. “This is as much as Emmi can change” I thought. I can’t take in any more greatness and I can’t give out anything more either. My head is so full of different “languages“, levels and ideas that everything is just turning into chaos.
I received a great tip from my boss for this. He told me that the more I give out what I have inside, the more I will have space to grow and take in what I am offered. This way I am integrating my newly learned language into my daily life and actually learning to speak it. It could be that I will find out that there are new people waiting to meet me, people that I could not connect to or speak a word to before but who I might be able to connect to now, since I have learned something new.